Eclipse – My reading notes and favourite quotes
April 14, 2009
Page 9. Bella’s much-abused copy of Wuthering Heights. Bella has been reading this book a lot in this novel. She compares her relationship with Edward to that of Catherine and Heathcliff.
Page 11. Bella’s friends: Angela Weber, Ben Cheney, Mike Newton, Lauren Mallory, Jessica Stanley.
Page 17. My eyes traced over his pale white features: the hard square of his jaw, the softer curve of his full lips – twisted up into a smile now, the straight line of his nose, the sharp angle of his cheekbones, the smooth marble span of his forehead – partially obscurred by a tangle of rain-darkened bronze hair … I saved his eyes for last, knowing that when I looked into them I was likely to lose my train of thought. They were wide, warm with liquid gold, and framed by a thick fringe of black lashes. (Edward still dazzles Bella after two years(?) of being together. His eyes were liquid gold. That means that he has recently hunted and wasn’t thirsty.) See my post Twilight for more of Bella’s description of Edward.
Page 29. Edward and Bella were discussing Wuthering Heights.
“I think that maybe the point. Their love is their only redeeming quality.”
“I hope you have a better sense than that — to fall in love with someone so … malignant.”
“It’s a bit late for me to worry about who I fall in love with …”
“Well, I hope you’re smart enough to stay away from someone so selfish. Catherine is really the source of all the trouble, not Heathcliff.”
Page 33. “If I’d never left, you wouldn’t feel the need to go risk your life to comfort a dog.” :)
I flinched. I was so used to Jacob and all his derogatory slurs — bloodsucker, leech, parasite … Somehow it sounded harsher in Edward’s velvet voice.
Page 36. My indifferent attitude to fashion was a constant thorn in her(Alice) side. If I’d allow it, she’d love to dress me everyday — perhaps several times a day — like some oversized three-dimensional paper doll.
Page 43. Edward kissed Bella while she was waiting for her computer to warm up.
His golden eyes were smoldering, just inches away and his breath was cool against my open lips, I could taste his scent on my tongue … If I had my way, I would spend the majority of my time kissing Edward. There wasn’t anything I’d experienced in my life that compared to the feeling of his cool lips, marble hard but always so gentle, moving with mine. (Kilig)
Pages 58-59. “You and Edward seem to be pretty serious… there are a lot of important things you need to know when you … well, when you’re physically involved with –”
“Oh, please, please no! Please tell me you are not trying to have a sex talk with me, Charlie.”
“I know the times have changed.”
I laughed awkwardly. “Maybe the times have, but Edward is very old-fashioned. You have nothing to worry about.” …
“Ugh!” I groaned. “I really wish you were not forcing me to say this out loud, Dad. Really. But … I am a … virgin, and I have no immediate plans to change that status.”
(I love this part. So awkward and yet kind of funny. :) )
Page 66. “Renee is so much more … perceptive than Charlie in some ways. It was making me jumpy.”
Page 67. “There’s something strange about the way you two are together…. The way he watches you — it’s so… protective. Like he’s about to throw himself in front of a bullet to save you or something.”
Page 71. First time Bella talked to Jacob after she got back together with Edward. She described the memories that spun in her head upon hearing his voice on the phone.
It felt sort of like homesickness, this longing for the place and person who had sheltered me through my darkest night.
Page 79. For a second, he looked like … like a vampire. He glared at Jacob with vicious, unveiled loathing. (Well, he is a vampire. :) )
(This verse is also on the back cover of the book)
In the dead silence, all the details suddenly fell into place for me, with a burst of intuition.
Something Edward didn’t want me to know.
Something that Jacob wouldn’t have kept from me.
Something that had the Cullens and the wolves both in the woods, moving in hazardous proximity to each other.
Something that would cause Edward to insist that I fly across the country … Something I’d been waiting for anyway. Something I knew would happen again, as much as I might wish it never would. It was never going to end, was it?
Page 93. (Alice) “Haven’t you noticed yet, Bella, that Edward is just the teeniest bit prone to overreaction?”
Page 95. I’ll be back so soon you won’t have time to miss me. Look after my heart — I’ve left it with you. (kinda of corny. :) )
Newton’s Olympic Outfitters – where Bella worked.
Page 110. “I love him. Not because he’s beautiful or because he’s rich. I’d much rather he weren’t either one. It would even out the gap between us just a little bit — because he’d still be the most loving and unselfish and brilliant and decent person I’d ever met…” (Bella to Jacob)
“What is a valid reason for someone to love someone else? Since apparently I’m doing it wrong.”
“I think the best place to start would be to look within your own species. That usually works.” (Jacob is referring to himself)
“Well that just sucks! I guess I’m stuck with Mike Newton after all.” (But looks like Bella doesn’t see him as her own kind of species.) :)
Pages 119-120. Werewolves don’t age. “When we get enough control to quit…,” Jacob said. “When we top phasing for a solid length of time, we age again. It’s not easy.”
Page 119. “Am I the only one who has to get old? I get older every stinking day.” (There goes Bella’s issue with getting old again.)
Page 122. Jacob explained to Bella about imprinting. It doesn’t happen to everyone, it’s the rare exception. Sam loved Leah but when he saw Emily, that didn’t matter anymore. Sometimes that’s how they find their soul mates. It’s like love at first sight, but more powerful.
Pages 124-125. It also happened to Jared. He imprinted on a girl he’d sat next to in school everyday, Kim.
Page 125. Werewolves can hear each other’s thoughts, but only when they’re wolves, not when they’re in human phase.
Page 126. Bella told Jacob that Edward had never been in her head.
“I already knew that there was something wrong with your brain.”
Page 142. Bella disappears in Alice’s vision when she’s with Jacob and the werewolves. But Edward can read the werewolves’ mind.
Page 143. “But I want you to know something — when it comes to all this enemies nonsense, I’m out. I am a neutral country. I am Switzerland. I refuse to be affected by territorial disputes between mythical creatures. Jacob is family. You are … well, not exactly the love of my life, because I expect to love you for much longer than that. The love of my existence…”
Page 145. Edward gave Alice a yellow Porsche, just like the one she drove in Italy, as a bribe to look after Bella every time he was away.
Page 146. Emmett drives a big jeep.
Rosalie drives a red convertible.
Page 148. (Jacob) “Stupid bloodsucker. I thought he was leaving. Can’t you have a life when he’s gone? Or does he lock you in a coffin?” :)
Page 154. Rosalie told Bella about her human life and how she was changed in 1933. She was 18. She was beautiful and she envied her friend who had a child. She wanted to have a baby, too. She was engaged to Royce but one night he and his friends raped her and left her for dead on the street. Carlisle came to save her …
Page 166. The reason Rosalie didn’t like Bella is because she wanted to become a vampire and give up human life when she already had everything. Rosalie would trade anything to be Bella. “You have the choice that I didn’t have, and you’re choosing wrong.”
Page 168. We weren’t friends yet, but I was pretty sure she wouldn’t always hate me so much. (And it turned out that she was right.)
Pages 173-175. Quil imprinted on Emily’s two-year old niece, Claire.
Page 176. Jacob explained to Bella how Quil’s imprinting on a two-year-old isn’t in a romantic way, not now. (Stephenie Meyer was preparing the readers for what would happen in the final book.)
Page 181. Bella told Jacob that she was serious when she said that she wanted Edward to bit her. And Jacob told her that is breaking the treaty between the Cullens and the Quiluete tribe. The great-grandfathers of the Quiluete tribe only agreed to keep peace because the Cullens swore that they were different and humans weren’t in danger from them. They promised they would never kill or change anyone again.
Page 182. Jacob thought that they still have a few years to be friends, but Bella told him that it was only a matter of weeks.
Page 183. “He’s going to change you into a filthy bloodsucker in just a few weeks!” Jacob hissed through his teeth.
“He’s 17, Jacob. And I get closer to 19 everyday. Besides, what’s the point in waiting? He’s all I want. What else can I do?”
“Anything. Anything else. You’d better off dead. I’d rather you were.”
This made Bella angry and she took off.
Page 185. I could almost taste the sweetness of reunion in the air, a separate fragrance from the perfume of his breath; the emptiness when we were apart left its own bitter aftertaste, something I didn’t consciously notice until it was removed…
Page 186. His hand curved around my elbow, moving slowly down my arm, across my ribs and over my waist, tracing along my hip and down my leg, around my knee. He paused there, his hand curling around my calf. He pulled my leg up suddenly, hitching it around his hip …
… “Not to bring the ire prematurely,” he whispered, “but do you mind telling me what it is about this bed that you object to?”
… “Did you change your mind?”
…”Don’t be ridiculous Bella… I was just trying to illustrate the benefits of the bed you don’t seem to like. Don’t get carried away.” (Well, I was also starting to get carried away. ;) )
Page 195. “Sleep, my Bella. Dream happy dreams. You are the only one who has ever touched my heart. It will always be yours. Sleep, my love.” (I like how he is calling her “my love” now.)
Page 200. Someone’s been in Bella’s room while she was at a slumber party with Alice, not werewolves nor Victoria, probably one of the Volturi.
Page 209. Bella forgave Jacob.
Edward: “I knew you’d forgive him, “he said with an easy smile. Holding grudges is not one of your many talents.”
I rolled my eyes, but I was pleased. It seemed like Edward really was over the whole anti-werewolf thing.
Page 212. “Try to convince your bloodsucker that the safest place for you to be – especially when he leaves – is on the reservation. We’re well able to handle anything.”
Page 215. Jacob explained to Bella why he wears nothing but a pair of old cut-off jeans. It’s not because he was proud of his new muscles, which Bella thinks were impressive. He has to carry his clothes when he changes into a wolf and he wants to keep his burden light. He ties them on his calf, like an anklet.
Page 218. Jacob asked Bella what it was like to have a vampire as a boyfriend (It’s the best) and if she’d kiss him (Yes). “You don’t worry about the fangs?” “Shut up, Jacob! You know he doesn’t have fangs!”
Page 219. Jacob accidentally cut himself with the knife he was holding when Bella told him that she was going to be changed at graduation. But his wound healed right away.
Page 227. Edward and Bella realized that “the visiotr took Bella’s things, things with her scent.”
Page 229. Edward thinks that the crimes in Seattle can’t be the work of just one newborn vampire.
Page 233. I stared at the beautiful machine (silver motorcycle). Beside it, my bike looked like a broken tricycle. I felt a sudden wave of sadness when I realized that this was not a bad analogy for the way I probably looked next to Edward. (Bella and her low self-esteem.)
Pages 235-236. Edward drove Bella to the boundary line when she went to the bonfire party at La Push. Bella had another deja vu.
“You know what this reminds me of?” I asked. “It’s just like when I was a kid and Renee would pass me off to Charlie for the summer. I feel like a seven-year-old.” Edward laughed. I didn’t mention it out loud, but the biggest difference between the two circumstances was that Renee and Charlie had been on better terms.
Pages 239-260. Legends. The stories of the spirit warriors, shape-shifting, the Quileute tribe and the cold ones.
Pages 242-243. Watching them, I felt like I better understood what Jacob had told me about imprinting before – it’s hard to resist that level of commitment and adoration. (She was referring to Jared and Kim)
Page 244. … Suddenly, I realized that the elders of the council here was not three, but four in number. (Billy Black, Old Quil Ateara, Sue Clearwater, and Emily)
Page 245. Kaheleha – the first great Spirit Chief
Taha Aki – last great Spirit Chief
Utlapa – one of Chief Taha Aki’s strongest spirit warrior, betrayed him .
Page 251. Sam’s fur is black (black heart, black fur)
Quil – chocolate fur (reflects how sweet you are?)
Page 254. Yaha Uta – the oldest son of Taha Aki’s third wife, youngest in the pack.
Taha Aki’s third wife stabbed herself infront of the Cold Woman to save her husband, her young sons, her tribe. The smell of her blood distracted the vampire, giving the men the chance to run away.
Page 261. “You called Edward for me?”
“I figured if I played nice, I’d get more time with you.” (He’s playing the game. :) )
Page 265. … The more time I spend with you, the more human emotions seem comprehensible to me. I’m discovering that I can sympathize with Heathcliff in ways I didn’t think possible before.”
Page 266. Passage from Wuthering Heights – “drank his blood…”
Page 269. With graduation day just a week away, Bella realized that she wasn’t ready to be changed.
In theory, I was anxious, even eager to trade mortality for immortality. After all, it was the key to staying with Edward forever. And then there was the fact that I was being hunted by known and unknown parties. In practice… being human was all I knew. The future beyond that was a big, dark abyss that I couldn’t know until I leaped into it.
Page 271. “You aren’t going through with this because a sword is hanging over your head. We will take care of the problems, and I will take care of you…When we’re through it, and there is nothing forcing your hand, then you can decide to join me, if you still want to. But not because you’re afraid. You won’t be forced into this.”
Pages 272-273. “You don’t want me to be a vampire.” Edward explained to Bella why. He didn’t want her to risk her soul. He felt selfish for giving in to what she wanted.
Page 273. “If there were any way for me to become human for you – no matter what the price was, I would pay it.”
“So… it’s not that you’re afraid you won’t … like me as much when I’m different – when I’m not soft and warm and I don’t smell the same?”…
Page 274. Edward told Bella that he’d miss her blushing when he touched her and the sound of her heart. “It’s the most significant sound in the world.”
“You don’t want to be my wife.” Bella explained to Edward why.
Pages 275-276. “I’m not that girl, Edward. The one who gets married right out of high school like some small-town hick who got knocked up by her boyfriend!…People don’t just get married at 18. Not smart people, not responsible mature people! I wasn’t going to be that girl! That’s not who I am.”
“That’s all? … It’s not that you were…more eager for immortality itself than for just me?”
Page 276. “You see, Bella. I was always that boy. In my world, I was already a man. I wasn’t looking for love… If I had found you, there isn’t a doubt in my mind how I would have proceeded. I was that boy, who would have… gotten down on one knee and endeavored to secure your hand…”
… I shook my head and swallowed. I was just having Ann of Green Gables flashbacks.
Page 286. Jasper showed Bella his faint crescent-shaped scars on his arm. He told Bella his story. He lived in Houston, Texas when he was human. He was 17 when he joined the Confederate Army in 1861. He was Jasper Whitlock. (Page 295) It was Maria who changed him and made him form an army. The newborns were always fighting among themselves. Then Peter came back and told him about his new life with Charlotte, about other options, how they’d never had a fight. (Page 300) Jasper was already getting tired of the slaughter and carnage. He got depressed and wandered away. He was in Philadelphia when he met Alice and she introduced him to the Cullens.
Page 306. Carlisle called Tanya’s family to ask for help in destroying the newborns attacking Seattle before the Volturi come and do it themselves. That’s when they learned that Irina wasn’t happy that the werewolves killed Laurent to save Bella.
Page 310. Bella found out that Alice is preparing for a graduation party for her. She hates parties.
Page 315. “I know you think that I have some kind of perfect, unyielding self-control, but that’s not actually the case.”
Page 317. “How strong will I be?”
He grinned, “Stronger that I am.”
“Stronger than Emmett?”
The grin got bigger. “Yes. Do me a favor and challenge him to an arm-wrestling match. It would be a good experience for him.” (This actually happened in Breaking Dawn.)
Page 319. I waved to Edward before I got into the Rabbit and from that distance, it looked like he was truly upset about the honking thing.. or whatever Jacob was thinking about. (He was thinking that he would tell Bella that he’s in love with her.) But my eyes were weak and made mistakes all the time. (She’s already mentioning how human senses are weak, I guess, as compared to those of vampires. In Breaking Dawn, she would mention how she didn’t see things quite as clearly as before because she saw them with human eyes, or how her memories of certain events were weak because they happened when she was still human.)
I wanted Edward to come to me. I wanted to make both of them get out of their cars and shake hands and be friends – be Edward and Jacob rather than vampire and werewolf. It was as if I had those two stubborn magnets in my hands again, and I was holding them together trying to force nature to reverse herself …
Page 323. Poor Jacob. I studied his dreaming face, and liked what I saw while he slept, every trace of defensiveness and bitterness disappeared and suddenly he was the boy who had been my best friend before all the werewolf nonsense had gotten in the way. He looked so much younger. He looked like my Jacob.
Page 324. But Edward was right – I wasn’t quite ready yet.
And I didn’t want to be practical. I wanted Edward to be the one. It wasn’t a rational desire. I was sure that – about two seconds after someone actually bit me and the venom started burning through my veins – I really wouldn’t care anymore who had done it. (Bella again mentions ‘bit me.’ Edward never actually bit her.)… It was hard to define, even to myself, why it mattered … It was childish, but I liked the idea that his lips would be the last good thing I would feel.
Page 327. “I’m in love with you, Bella … Bella, I love you. And I want you to pick me instead of him. I know you don’t feel that way, but I need the truth out there so that you know your options. I wouldn’t want a miscommunication to stand in our way.”
Page 329. He stroked the tips of his fingers across my right cheek. I slapped his hand away.
“Do you think you could behave yourself a little better, at least?” I asked, irritated.
“No, I don’t. You decide, Bella. You can have me the way I am – bad behavior included – or not at all.”
Page 330. “I love him, Jacob. He’s my whole life.”
“You love me too… Not the same way, I know. But he’s not your whole life, either. Not anymore. Maybe he was once, but he left. And now he’s just going to have to deal with the consequences of that choice – me.”
“Until your heart stops beating, Bella… I’ll be here – fighting. Don’t forget that you have options.”
Then Jacob kissed Bella. She tried to fight but he was strong. When he was done kissing her, she punched him in the mouth, but he didn’t get hurt and she broke her hand.
Page 332. “I can’t wait to see what Edward does to you! I hope he snaps your neck, you pushy, obnoxious, moronic DOG!”
Page 341. “I’ll be fighting for her, too. You should know that. I’m not taking anything for granted, and I’ll be fighting twice as hard as you will.
“Good,” Jacob growled. “It’s not fun beating someone who forfeits.”
“She is mine… I didn’t say I would fight fair.”
Page 343. “They’re betting on how many times you … slip up in the first year.”
Page 345. Edward was so obsessed with me not missing anything while I was human… Was there a human experience that I was not willing to give up?
Page 348. Alice on the sweater she gave Bella to wear on graduation day:
“Pretty, don’t you think? I picked blue because I know it’s Edward’s favorite on you.”
Page 348. “Listen, Alice, don’t you see? It’s the same! The one who broke in and stole my things, and the new vampires in Seattle. They’re together!”
Page 349. The one who is making the army is the one who stole the scent.
Page 354. Eric was the valedictorian on graduation day.
Only the two of them (Edward and Alice) could carry off the hideous yellow and still look the way they did. They stood out from the rest of the crowd, their beauty and grace otherworldly. I wondered how I’d ever fallen for their human farce. A couple of angels, standing there with wings intact, would be less conspicuous.
Page 365. “Bella?”
Edward’s soft voice came from behind me. I turned to see him spring lightly up the porch steps, his hair windblown from running. He pulled me into his arms at once, just like he had in the parking lot, and kissed me again.
This kiss frightened me. There was too much tension, too strong an edge to the way his lips crushed mine – like he was afraid we only had so much time left to us.
Page 374. Jacob came at Bella’s party at the Cullens’ and gave her a present that he made himself.
Fastened to one of the links of the silver bracelet was a tiny wooden carving. I held it between my fingers to look at it closer. It was amazing the amount of detail involved in the little figurine – the miniature wolf was utterly realistic. It was even carved out of some red-brown that matched the color of his skin.
Page 378. Jacob glared at Alice while Jasper glowered at Jacob… (That must have been quite a sight.)
Page 380. The Cullens and the werewolves agreed to work together to fight the newborns.
Page 389. The meeting of the Cullens and the werewolves took place at the clearing where Bella first met Victoria. Edward told Bella that he’d want to end/finish Victoria off with his own hands.
Page 400. Bella touched Jacob’s red-brown fur while he was a werewolf and then he licked her face. “Ew! Gross, Jake!”
Page 406. I was pouting, uncomfortable in Jacob’s arms. It felt too intimate to me – surely he didn’t need to hold me quite so tightly – and I couldn’t help but wonder what it felt like to him. It reminded me of my last afternoon in La Push, and I didn’t want to think about that. I folded my arms, annoyed when the brace on my hand intensified the memory.
Page 408. He stood only three feet from Edward now, and, standing there between them, I could feel the physical tension in the air. It was like static, an uncomfortable charge.
Page 412. “Jacob Black can give you presents.”
“You’ve given me presents. You know I like the homemade kind.”
“How about hand-me-downs? Are they acceptable?”
Page 413. “Everyone else is able to get away with giving you things. Everyone but me . . . that’s utterly unfair. How do you explain yourself?”
“Easy. You’re more important than everyone else. And you’ve given me you. That’s already more than I deserve, and anything else you give me just throws us more out of balance.”
“The way you regard me is ludicrous.”
… I knew he wouldn’t listen if I told him that he had that backwards.
Page 415. Edward told Bella that Jacob is second in command. Sam being the first. And Jacob’s orders have to be followed too. Jacob never told this to Bella.
Page 416. Leah Clearwater is a werewolf, too. The smaller gray wolf.
Page 418. “The imprinting compulsion is one of the strangest things I’ve ever witnessed in my life, and I’ve seen some strange things. The way Sam is tied to Emily is impossible to describe – or I should say her Sam. Sam really had no choice. It reminds me of A Midsummer Night’s Dream with all the chaos caused by the fairies’ love spells…like magic. It’s very nearly as strong as the way I feel about you.
Page 419. “Okay, look, Edward,” I whispered. Here’s the thing… I’ve already gone crazy once. I know what my limits are. And I can’t stand it if you leave me again.”
Bella asked Edward to sit out the fight against the newborns, or let her come with him. “Either way, so long as we’re together.”
Page 422. “Don’t apologize. Never be afraid to tell me how you feel, Bella.”
“You gave me two alternatives that you could live with and I chose the one that I could live with. That’s how compromise is supposed to work.”
Page 429. Embry was clearly the thinner gray wolf with the dark spots on his back…Quil – deep chocolate brown, lighter over his face…
Page 432. It was strange. Even though he was in this bizarre form, this felt more like the way Jake and I used to be – the easy, effortless friendship that was as natural as breathing in and out – than the last few times I’d been with Jacob while he was human. Odd that I should find that again here, when I’d thought this wolf thing was the cause of its loss.
Page 434. Chapter 20. Compromise. Bella told Edward that she wanted to experience sex before becoming a vampire. But Edward won’t change her until she marries him. And he wouldn’t have sex with her until they’re married. He didn’t want to have sex with her until she’s more ‘durable’ because he’s afraid that he might kill her. He promised her that they will at least try before he changes her. Edward proposed to Bella.
Page 436. I knew which human experience I was going to insist on before I become inhuman.
Page 438. On the opposite side of the chain from the wolf, there now hung a brilliant heart-shaped crystal. It was cut in a million facets, so that even in the subdued light shining from the lamp, it sparkled. I inhaled in a low gasp.
“It was my mother’s.”
“But I thought it was a good representation – It’s hard and cold. And it throws rainbows in the sunlight.”
“You forgot the most important similarity,” I murmured. “It’s beautiful.”
“My heart is just as silent,” he mused, “And it, too, is yours.”
Pages 441-442. “Well, I’m a little worried … about after … All of you just seem so convinced that the only thing I’m going to be interested in, afterward, is slaughtering everyone in town. And I’m afraid I’ll be so pre-occupied with the mayhem that I won’t be me anymore … and that I won’t … I won’t want you the same way I do now.”
Page 442. “Tell me what you want and you can have it.”
I couldn’t believe how awkward and idiotic I felt. I was too innocent – which was, of course, central to the discussion. I didn’t have the faintest idea how to be seductive.
“You,” I mumbled almost incoherently.
Page 443. Bella tried to unbutton Edward’s shirt while they were kissing on the bed and that’s when he realized what she wanted.
“Be reasonable Bella … No.”
Page 444. … Rejection washed through me, instinctive and strong.
I knew it was irrational. He’d been very clear on other occasions that my safety was the only factor. Yet I’d never made myself quite so vulnerable before.
“Did I hurt your feelings?” he asked, shocked.
“No,” I lied.
Page 446. “If I’m so far gone that I’d want to kill Charlie – that I’d drink Jacob’s blood or Angela’s if I got the chance…”
“It will pass. And I doubt you’ll want to drink the dog’s blood. Even as a newborn, you’ll have better taste than that.”
“But that will always be what I want most, won’t it? Blood, blood and more blood!” (Did Jacob say this line while Bella was pregnant in Breaking Dawn.?)
Page 447. Edward crushed one of the metal roses that adorned the iron posts and canopy of his bed frame to show Bella how he could kill her if they do make love.
Page 449. His mouth was not gentle; there was a brand-new edge of conflict and desperation in the way his lips moved.
Page 450. “I wasn’t born yesterday. Out of the two of us, which do you think is more unwilling to give the other what they want? … What guarantee do I have that you won’t go running off to Carlisle in the morning?”
Page 453. “That’s it, isn’t it? You’re trying to protect your virtue!”
“No, silly girl. I’m trying to protect yours. And you’re making it shockingly difficult.” :)
Page 455. “And now look what’s become of you! Trying to seduce a vampire.” He shook his head in mock horror. :)
Page 458. “I supposed it’s a little outdated. Old-fashioned, just like me.”
Nestled into the black satin, Elizabeth Masen’s ring sparkled in the dim light. The face was a long oval, set with slanting rows of glittering round stones. The band was gold – delicate and narrow. The gold made a fragile web around the diamonds, I’d never seen anything like it.
Page 459. “Oh no,” I gasped as he slid down onto one knee.
“Be nice,” he muttered. I took a deep breath.
“Isabella Swan, … I promise to love you forever – every single day of forever. Will you marry me?”
“Thank you,” he said simply. He took my left hand and kissed each of my fingertips before he kissed the ring that was now mine.
Page 471. When Bella fell in the forest and cut her palm, Edward attended to her bleeding hand. She asked him why the blood didn’t bother him anymore.
“I got over it… I lived through an entire 24 hours thinking that you were dead, Bella. That changed the way I look at a lot of things.”
“Did it change the way I smell to you?”
“Not at all. But … having experienced the way it feels to think I’ve lost you … my reactions have changed. My entire being shies away from any course that could inspire that kind of pain.”
Page 476. “Does that mean he’s a better kisser than I am?”Jacob asked, suddenly glum.
“I really couldn’t say, Jake. Edward is the only person I’ve ever kissed.”
“But I don’t count that as a kiss, Jacob. I think of it more as an assault.”
Page 478. “Sometimes I think you like me better as a wolf.”
“Sometimes I do. It probably has something to do with the way you can’t talk.”
“No, I don’t think that’s it. I think it’s easier for you to be near me when I’m not human, because you don’t have to pretend that you’re not attracted to me.”
Page 480 – 481. “You know how much you mean to me. I’m sorry it’s not in the way you want, but that’s just how it is. You’re my best friend. At least, you used to be. And still sometimes are… when you let your guard down.” …
“When are you finally going to figure out that you’re in love with me, too?”
Page 482. “How did Sam end up as the Alpha, and you as the … the Beta?
“Sam was the first, the oldest. It made sense for him to take charge.”
… “Well, if it’s about the lineage .. shouldn’t you be the chief then?”
Page 483. …”There’s only one Alpha.”
… “Yeah. I was supposed to be Alpha… I didn’t want to step up… I didn’t want to be some legendary chief.”
Page 489. “Go fetch a space heater,’ he grumbled. “I’m not a St. Bernard.”
Page 490. Jake crawled in Bella’s sleeping bag to keep her warm because she was freezing, while Edward watched from the other side of the tent.
Page 491. “Don’t worry about the blood sucker. He’s just jealous.”
“You don’t have the faintest idea how much I wish I could do what you’re doing for her, mongrel.”
“Those are the breaks. At least you know she wishes it was you.”
I noticed that Jacob’s skin had a woodsy, musky scent – it fit the setting, here in the middle of the forest. It was nice. I wondered if the Cullens and the Quileutes weren’t just playing up that whole odor issue because of their prejudices. Everyone smelled fine to me. (In Breaking Dawn, she realizes that she also didn’t like the werewolves’ smell when she became a vampire.)
Page 492. Bella asked Jacob why he was furrier than his friends. It’s because his hair was longer. Bella asked him why he won’t cut it. He said he was growing his hair out because it seemed that she liked it better long.
Page 494. This warm little space made me think of the early days with Jacob, and I remembered how it used to be when he was my replacement sun, the warmth that made my empty life livable. It had been a while since I’d thought of Jake that way, but here he was, warming me again. (This is a good analogy to what happened in New Moon, when Edward left Bella and Jacob stepped in Bella’s life in his place.)
Page 496. “She’s in love with me, too, you know. But she doesn’t know it.”
Page 497. “It’s an uncomfortable truce, isn’t it?”
“I knew you were just as crazy jealous as I am.”
“I’m not such a fool as to wear it on my sleeve like you do…”
“You have more patience than I do.”
“I should. I’ve had a hundred years to gain it. A hundred years of waiting for her.”
Page 503. “You know, Jacob, if it weren’t for the fact that we’re natural enemies. And that you’re also trying to steal away the reason for my existence. I might actually like you.”
“Maybe … if you weren’t a disgusting vampire who was planning to suck out the life of the girl I love… well, no, not even then.”
Can I ask you something? It’s just a story that Bella seemed reluctant to tell me about the other day. Something about a third wife?”
“You don’t like the leeches being painted as the bad guys?”
“I really couldn’t care less about that part. Can’t you guess which character Bella would identify with?”
Page 512. “What did I say last night?”
“Mostly you said my name as usual. Near the end though, you started mumbling some nonsense about ‘Jacob, my Jacob’.” I could hear the pain, even in the whisper. “Your Jacob enjoyed that quite a lot.”
“Sorry,” I murmured. “That’s just the way I differentiate … Between Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Between the Jacob I like and the one who annoys the hell out of me,” I explained.
Pages 511-513. Edward and Bella’s top ten best nights:
– The first night Edward stayed in Bella’s room.
– Flying home from Italy.
– The night after Italy.
– The night when Bella finally agreed to marry Edward.
Page 513. “You’ve always seemed more like a dream than reality.”
Page 514. The howl tore through my mind like a tornado, both strange and familiar. Strange because I’d never heard such a tortured cry before. Familiar because I knew the voice at once – I recognized the sound and understood the meaning as perfectly as I’d uttered it myself. It made no difference that Jacob was not human when he cried out. I needed no translation.
Jacob was close. Jacob had heard every word we’d said. (about her acceptance of his marriage proposal.) Jacob was in agony.
The howl choked off into a peculiar gurgled sob, and then it was quiet again…
“Jacob was listening. You knew.”
“I never promised to fight fair. And he deserved to know.”
Page 515. “I’m hurting him. Everytime I turn around, I’m hurting him again, I’m a hideous person.”
Page 516. Seth Clearwater – sand colored fur.
Page 517. But Jacob had never reacted so strongly – lost his bold overconfidence and shown the intensity of his pain. The sound of his agony still cut at me, somewhere deep in my chest. Right beside it was the other pain. Pain for feeling pain over Jacob. Pain for hurting Edward, too. For not being able to watch Jacob with composure, knowing that it was the right thing, the only way.
I was selfish, I was hurtful. I tortured the ones I loved.
I was like Cathy, like Wuthering Heights, only my options were so much better than hers, neither one evil, neither one weak.
Edward would never see me shed another tear for Jacob Black. (But that’s not true. She would cry for Jacob again and Edward would see it.)
Page 518. I couldn’t have them both because Jacob could not be just my friend. It was time to give up wishing for that.
I had to get over this irrational feeling that Jacob belonged in my life. He couldn’t belong with me, could not be my Jacob, when I belonged to someone else.
Page 524. “I love you, Bella,” he murmured.
“I love you, Jacob,” I whispered brokenly.
He smiled, “I know that better than you do.”
Page 525. “Will you kiss me, Jacob?”
“Kiss me, Jacob. Kiss me, and then come back.”
Page 526. Jacob kissed Bella.
Page 527. And she kissed him back this time.
Page 528. Why wasn’t I stopping this? Worse than that, why couldn’t I find in myself even the desire to want to stop? What did it mean that I didn’t want him to stop? … The questions were stupid, because I knew the answer: I’d been lying to myself.
Jacob was right. He’d been right all along. He was more than just my friend. That’s why it was so impossible to tell him goodbye – because I was in love with him, too…
Page 529. He bent to kiss me again, and there was no reason to resist. What would be the point?
This time was different. His hands were soft on my face and his warm lips were gentle, unexpectedly hesitant. It was brief, and very, very sweet.
His arms curled around me, and he hugged me securely while he whispered in my ear.
“That should have been our first kiss. Better late than never.”
Page 532. “And I thought I fought dirty. He makes me look like the patron saint of ethics. I’m not mad at you, love. Jacob’s more cunning than I gave him credit for…”
Page 533. “You’re only human.”
“That’s the most miserable defense I’ve ever heard.”
“But you are human, Bella. And, as much as I might wish otherwise, so is he… There are holes in your life that I can’t fill…”
Page 536. “Because you are bizarrely moral for a vampire.”
“We will try, Bella. I’ll make good on my promise. But I’d much rather it wasn’t in reaction to Jacob Black.”
Page 539. If I had to bleed to save them, I would do it. I would die to do it, like the third wife. I had no silver dagger in my hand, but I would find a way.
Page 548. Edward shifted, too, as they closed on each other, and it was lion versus lioness… (This was the showdown between Edward and Victoria.)
It was like Alice and Jasper in the meadow, a blurred spiralling of movement, only this dance was not as perfectly choreographed. Sharp crunches and crackings reverberated off the cliff face whenever someone slipped in their formation…
Page 549. Was I strong enough? Was I brave enough? How hard could I shove the rough stone into my body? …
I raked the point of the shard up my arm, yanking my thick sweater back to expose the stain, and then pressed the sharp tip to the crease at my elbow. I already had a long scar there from my last birthday. That night, my flowing blood had been enough to catch every vampire’s attention, to freeze them all in place for an instant. I prayed it would work that way again…
Page 553. Edward’s mouth brushed once across her neck, like a caress. The squealing clamor coming from Seth’s efforts covered every other noise, so there was no discernable sound to make the image one of violence. He could have been kissing her.
And then the fiery tangle of hair was no longer connected to the rest of her body. The shivering orange waves fell to the ground, and bounced once before rolling toward the trees.
Page 565. Jacob got hurt in the fight. Leah engaged one of the newborns and Jacob jumped in to save her.
Pages 570 – 571. I met the girl’s (Bree) stare for a long moment. Chin-length dark hair framed her face, which was alabaster pale. It was hard to tell if her features were beautiful, twisted as they were by rage and thirst. The feral red eyes were dominant – hard to look away from. She glared at me viciously, shuddering and writhing every few seconds.
I stared at her, mesmerized, wondering if I were looking into a mirror of my future.
Pages 576 – 577. Jane tried to torture Bella with her gaze, but like the first time in Italy, it didn’t work on Bella.
Page 583. Bella asked Alice why she sees Bella’s future, sometimes. But Jane’s, Edward’s or Aro’s abilities don’t work on Bella. “Jasper, too, Bella – his talent works on your body just as well as it does on anyone else’s. That’s the difference, do you see it? Jasper’s abilities affect the body physically. He really does calm your system down, or excite it. It’s not an illusion. And I see visions of outcomes, not the reasons and thoughts behind the decisions that create them. It’s outside the mind, not an illusion either; reality or at least one version of it. But Jane and Edward and Aro and Demetri – they work inside the mind. Jane only creates an illusion of pain. She doesn’ really hurt your body, you only think you feel it. You see, Bella? You are safe inside your mind. No one can reach you there. It’s no wonder that Aro was so curious about your future abilities.”
Page 586. “Tease you?” I echoed in shock.
“Yeah – in between insulting somebody’s mother and taking the Lord’s name in vain, he said, ‘Bet you’re glad she loves Cullen instead of me today, huh, Charlie?”…
Page 587. “And I couldn’t argue. Edward’s more mature than Jacob when it comes to your safety. I’ll give him that much.”
Page 588 – 589. “And Edward was really…nice. He seemed as worried about Jacob as you are – like that was his brother lying there. The look in his eyes…He’s a decent guy, Bella. I’ll try to remember that. No promises, though.” He grinned at me.
Page 590. “Here’s the gist of it, Bella… Maybe I’m just feeling … superstitious after hanging out with Billy while he was being so strange all day. But I have this … hunch. I feel like … I’m going to lose you soon… Just promise me one thing … Will you tell me before you do anything major? Before you run off with him or something? … I’m serious. I won’t kick up a fuss. Just give me some advance notice. Give me a chance to hug you goodbye.”
Page 590. Carlisle’s car is a black Mercedes.
Page 593. “I can’t believe this! He didn’t give you an ultimatum or anything? … I was sort of counting on his reaction. Damn it. He’s better than I thought.”
Page 594. … “He’s playing every bit as hard as I am, only he knows what he’s doing and I don’t. Don’t blame me because he’s a better manipulator that I am – I haven’t been around long enough to learn all his tricks.”
“He isn’t manipulating me!”
“Yes he is! When are you going to wake up and realize that he’s not as perfect as you think he is?”
“At least he didn’t threaten to kill himself to make me kiss him…”
Page 599 – 600. “He’s like a drug for you, Bella.” His voice was still gentle, not at all critical. “I see that you can’t live without him now. It’s too late. But I would have been healthier for you. Not a drug, I would have been the air, the sun.”
The corner of my mouth turned up in a wistful half-smile. “I used to think of you that way, you know. Like the sun. My personal sun. You balanced out the clouds nicely for me.”
He sighed. “The clouds I can handle. But I can’t fight with an eclipse.”
Page 605. When I couldn’t see anymore, I let my tires find the rough shoulder and rolled slowly to a stop. I slumped over on the seat and allowed the weakness I’d fought in Jacob’s room crush me. It was worse than I’d thought – the force of it took me by surprise. Yes, I had been right to hide this from Jacob. No one should ever see this.
But I wasn’t alone for very long – just exactly long enough for Alice to see me here, and then the few minutes it took him to arrive. The door creaked open, and he pulled me into his arms.
Page 606. At first it was worse because there was that smaller part of me – smaller, but getting louder and angrier every minute, screaming at the rest of me – that craved a different set of arms. So then there was fresh guilt to season the pain.
Page 607. “What happened to you?”
“Nothing Dad. I … just had to talk to Jacob about … some things that were hard. I’m fine.” The anxiety calmed, and was replaced by disapproval.
“Was this really the best time?” he asked.
“Probably not, Dad, but I didn’t have alternatives – it just got to the point where I had to choose… Sometimes, there isn’t any way to compromise.”
Page 608. But, though the night dragged relentlessly, it was not the worst night of my life. I took comfort from that. And I was not alone. There was a great deal of comfort in that, too.
My hindsight seemed unbearably clear tonight. I could see every mistake I’d made, every bit of harm I’d done, the small things and the big things. Each pain I’d cause Jacob, each wound I’d given Edward, stacked up into neat piles that I could not ignore or deny.
And I realized that I’d been wrong all along about the magnets. It had not been Edward and Jacob that I’d been trying to force together, it was the two parts of myself, Edward’s Bella and Jacob’s Bella. But they could not exist together, and I never should have tried.
Page 609. At some point in the night, I remembered the promise I’d made to myself early this morning – that I would never make Edward see me shed another tear for Jacob Black. The thought brought on a round of hysteria which frightened Edward more than the weeping. But it passed, too, when it had run it’s course.
Edward said little; he just held me on the bed and let me ruin his shirt, staining it with salt water.
Page 610. “I’m sorry that you had to see that,” I said. “That wasn’t fair to you.”
“Bella… are you sure? Did you make the right choice? I’ve never seen you in so much pain – ” His voice broke on the last word.
But I had known worse pain.
I touched his lips. “Yes.”
“I don’t know… If it hurts you so much, how can it possibly be the right thing for you?”
“Edward, I know who I can’t live without.”
I shook my head. “You don’t understand. You may be brave enough or strong enough to live without me, if that’s what’s best. But I could never be that self-sacrificing. I have to be with you. It’s the only way I can live.”
Page 611. (From Wuthering Heights) “If all else perished, and he remained, I should still continue to be; and if all else remained, and he were annihilated, the universe would turn to a mighty stranger.” I nodded, again to myself. “I know exactly what she means. And I know who I can’t live without.”
“Heathcliff had his moments, too. ‘I cannot live without my life! I cannot live without my soul!'”
“Yes,” I said quietly. “That’s my point.”
Page 612. Bella finally agreed to let Alice plan the wedding.
Perrine Bruyere – designed Bella’s wedding dress, 1918, Anne of Green Gables.
Page 615. August 13th – Bella’s deadline for the wedding, a month before her birthday.
“Esme is three years older than Carlisle – technically. Did you know that? It hasn’t made any difference to them.”
Page 616. “My age is not really that important, Edward, I’m ready. I’ve chosen my life – now I want to start living it.”
“Tell me why you’re doing this, Bella. Why did you decide now, to give Alice free reign?”
I repeated for him the conversation I had with Charlie last night before I’d gone to see Jacob.
“It wouldn’t be fair to keep Charlie out of this. And that means Renee and Phil. I might as well let Alice have her fun, too. Maybe it will make the whole thing easier for Charlie if he gets his proper goodbye. Even if he thinks it’s much too early, I wouldn’t want to cheat him out of the chance to walk me down the aisle… At least my mom and dad and my friends will know the best part of my choice, the most I’m allowed to tell them. They’ll know I chose you, and they’ll know we’re together…”
Page 617. “Bella, I see what you’re doing. You’re trying to make everyone happy. And I don’t care about anyone else’s feelings. I only need you to be happy.”
“We’re doing it your way, Bella. Tonight. Today. The sooner the better. I’ll speak to Carlisle. I was thinking that maybe if we gave you enough morphine, it wouldn’t be so bad. It’s worth a try.” He gritted his teeth.
“Edward, no – ”
He put his finger to my lips. “Don’t worry, Bella, love. I haven’t forgotten the rest of your demands.
Page 618. His hands were in my hair, his lips moving softly – but very seriously – against mine, before I realized what he was saying. What he was doing.
Pages 618 – 619. Edward and Bella were in the meadow and he started kissing her so passionately. Bella realized that Edward wanted to give in to her demand about getting sex before getting changed right there at that moment. But she stopped him and told him that she wanted to do it right, responsibly, everything in the right order.
Page 621. Epilogue – was told in Jacob Black’s point of view. A glimpse of what was to happen in Breaking Dawn.
Pages 622 – 623. This is Leah talking. “This is making me sick, Jacob. Can you imagine what this feels like to me? I don’t even like Bella Swan. And you’ve got me grieving over this leech-lover like I’m in love with her, too. Can you see where that might be a little confusing? I dreamed about kissing her last night! What the hell am I supposed to do with that?”
“Do I care?”
“I can’t stand being in your head anymore. Get over her already! She’s going to marry that thing. He’s going to try to change her into one of them! Time to move on, boy.”
Page 624. It didn’t matter so much that Bella’d chosen someone else over me. That agony was nothing at all. That agony I could live with for the rest of my stupid, too long, stretched-out life.
But it did matter that she was giving up everything – that she was letting her heart stop and her skin ice over and her mind twist into some crystallized predator’s head. A monster. A stranger…
Again, I had to fight the rage. Maybe, if not for Leah, it would be good to let the heat change me into a creature who could deal with it better. A creature with instincts so much stronger than human emotions. An animal who couldn’t feel pain in the same way. A different pain…”
Page 629. If only I could stop hearing, stop seeing what they saw. My head was so crowded, but the only way to be alone was to be human and I couldn’t stand the pain.