Posts filed under ‘Single Mom’

I just realized . . .

“Mommy, I have a headache. Can you call the school?” That was my 13-year old son on Monday morning. “Ay naku, Ryland,” I said, “there’s only 4 days of school left. You go take a shower now and I’ll give you Tylenol.” So he went to school, without the Tylenol. He was fine. He didn’t really have a headache.

This school year, he had quite a few absences. I kinda had a feeling that sometimes he just didn’t want to go to school and he’d tell me that he wasn’t feeling well. I had been lenient with him and his brothers because I know that it has not been an easy year for them. And I also feel guilty for putting them through these hard times because of the separation with their dad. Although I know I shouldn’t feel guilty because they know the reason why I did it, and they know that it’s all for the best. One other reason I feel guilty is not being at home as much as I want to because I have these two jobs. But I try to be there as much as I can. And I know they understand that I’m doing this for them.

That night at the dinner table, I told Ryland, “You know what, I just realized that you were probably not really sick those days that you would tell me that you were.” Then my 17-year old blurted out, “I already knew that. I was laughing in my bed when I heard him this morning.” Yeah right. Because this one had quite a few absences too. Ah these boys. They got me fooled. “Oh you guys. This can’t go on. Things are gonna change next year!”

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July 3, 2011 at 10:53 pm 1 comment

It’s a good day!

Today’s a good day. I just bought a house! Today. Exactly a year to the date the boys and I moved out of the house they grew up in. Exactly a year to the date we moved in to this two-bedroom apartment suite that we have called home this past year.

I’m so excited! We don’t move until August, but it’s pretty exciting! And emotional too. But emotionally happy, not sad. I’ve been separated for a year now, but I have pretty much moved on.

It’s been a good day. The boys and I went out to lunch with my mother today to celebrate my middle son’s 17th birthday, which is tomorrow. We went to Red Lobster. I knew my middle son had wanted to go there for the longest time.

It’s a bad day, I heard my youngest son said. He wanted to go to Pizza Hut instead. Although I’m pretty sure that he enjoyed the hand-breaded shrimp that he ordered at Red Lobster.

Why would you say it’s a bad day? I asked. It’s a good day. We just bought a house. I think I know why he thought it’s a bad day. It’s father’s day and he and his brothers didn’t spend it with their dad. The topic at mass this morning was about fathers and father’s day and it must have upset them somehow. He hasn’t been much a part of their lives since the separation. I actually wanted him to try to have relationship with his boys, but it’s not up to me now.

But see, these three had been laughing a lot today, joking around. After a year, they have pretty much adjusted to our situation and I think they have also moved on. So, I think, overall, it’s been a pretty good day. I just bought a house!
I had been getting quite frustrated with this house hunting. I have looked at several houses. A few didn’t look as good as they looked on paper. There were about two that I wanted to buy, but I got outbid. Oh, I hate these bidding wars. But today, I was the one who had the highest bid. 🙂 It’s a good day!

June 19, 2011 at 11:52 pm 4 comments

House hunting 101

My three sons and I have been living in an apartment for the last seven months. It is a two-bedroom apartment. I think it’s a pretty decent size, but a lot smaller than the place where we used to live. Our rent has increased since we moved here, and we already have a notice that it will increase again in the fall. We have been talking about looking for a house. It doesn’t have to be as big as the one we used to live in, but I’m thinking maybe a bungalow with two bedrooms and a finished basement. That will be a good enough size for us, and probably something we could afford especially now that we’re only a single income family.

I met with a realtor last week and he also invited a mortgage specialist from the bank connected with the real estate agency. I’m not ready to buy a house yet, since I don’t have any money in my bank, yet. But I’m getting some money from the property settlement from the house I used to share with the ex.

Yeah, I’m separated now. Single. Single mom. It has been a roller coaster of emotions these past few months. Feelings of pain, hurt, anger, resentments, guilt. And at times, feelings of excitement, freedom, sense of relief. But don’t worry about me and the kids. We’re doing fine. I think we’ve been through the worst. Things are looking brighter. We’re happier. And one reason I am blogging again is because my head is a lot clearer now than it has been. Well, now that I’ve gotten that out of the way. Let’s go back to the topic on hand.

My meeting with the realtor and mortgage specialist has been very informative. I told the realtor that I’m looking for a house in the same area where I live now. My two younger boys who are in high school and junior high didn’t want to switch schools and we want to find something close. We’ve also learned to love this area. After all, we have lived here in the past 16 years.

One of the first questions the mortgage specialist asked me is how much is my price range. Well, I haven’t really thought about that yet. We bought our first house here in Winnipeg 16 years ago, and that was such a long time ago, I forgot about the little things and details we had to deal with when we bought the house. How much are you comfortable paying? Oops, looks like I have some homework to do. He also pointed out that how much I get approved by the bank and how much I’m comfortable paying are two different things. I do understand that. I could get approved for this amount of money, but of course, there are bills, utilities, and other different things that I have to pay for. So there’s a lot of things to consider.

He took some information from me. My income, how often I get paid, any extra income (I do have a second income – a part time job), how much money I’m expecting from my property settlement, how much I’m willing to put in as downpayment, etc. He did some calculations and he came up with a price range that I might get approved by the bank. He also made a me a tabulation with different options of rates and length of mortgage term (3-year, 4-year, 5-year). So now I have a better idea of how much money I have to spend when I do decide to buy a house.

Also, the mortgage specialist assured me that he won’t start checking my credit rating until I give him my consent. Some homebuyers go to different realtors and mortgage specialists and don’t realize that their credit rating will be checked by the different specialists that they see. He said that everytime somebody checks your credit rating, your credit scores go down. Now, that’s one more thing I didn’t know. Within the last year, I have applied for an apartment twice, one time on behalf of a friend who came here from the Philippines, and the second time, for myself. So my credit rating has been checked twice just in the past year. I just hope that didn’t do a lot of damage to my credit score.

January 30, 2011 at 5:03 pm 14 comments


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