My mommy guilt trips
I didn’t really like Megan Joy that much. Okay, I did like her when she sang Put Your Records On and Black Horse and the Cherry Tree. But after that she kinda went downhill. It’s Danny Gokey and Adam Lambert who have been my favourites since the auditions. And for the last three weeks, I’ve been swooning over Kris Allen. 🙂 But I was touched when Megan said goodbye last night on American Idol. When she said “Baby, Momma’s coming home,” and she started to cry. I got choked up, too. I knew that it has been hard for her to be away from her little boy. I didn’t like her ‘I don’t care attitude’ last night, but maybe there was a part of her, before the results were revealed, that wanted to go home anyway.
Well, you see, I have been having these mommy guilt trips lately. I have been working extra hours, staying late at work and sometimes working on the weekends, too. I am exhausted by the end of the week. Last Saturday, I thought I’d lie down for a bit when we came home from shopping. But I guess I was too tired and I didn’t budge when my 11-year-old son woke me up for supper. It was already around 9:00 pm when I got up to eat.
My son told me, “You slept long, mommy.”
“Yeah, I was so tired,” I told him. “Next time shake me harder when you wake me so I can have supper with you all.”
And also, the other night, I was telling my son that there are a lot of people away at work this week, most of them mothers.
“Why?” he asked.
“Because it’s spring break,” I said. “Maybe they have planned something with the family, or they probably just want to spend time with the kids.”
“Then why didn’t you take a vacation?” he asked.
“Well, I take all my vacation days in the summer when all of you are at home,” I said. “And then we could plan to go somewhere like when we went to Alberta that one summer.”
“Oh,” he said.
“Do you want me to take the week off on spring breaks?” I asked him.
“Nah,” he said.
Even with that answer, this conversation still made me feel kind of guilty.
I wonder if there would ever be an end to these mommy guilt trips.