Dear Ryan

June 29, 2006 at 10:39 pm 19 comments

Dear Ryan, 

It seemed not too long ago when you started kindergarten.  You were a sweet and sensitive little boy and you would infect us with your laughter.  You were so little then and very curious to know about the world we live in. 

You learned in school but I also enjoyed teaching you and your brothers and bringing you to places where you’ve never been before.  I never thought that you would also teach me things and bring me to places I’ve never been before. 

You were the one who taught me about baseball and basketball.  I was never really interested in sports but I learned a lot on our talks in front of the T.V. in the kitchen.  You ask me a lot of things that you hear on the news and in the shows that we watch.  In turn you also tell me anything I want to know about sports.  I treasure those precious moments. 

I never thought that I would watch a live basketball game or set foot in a baseball field.  But you brought me to these places and they will be unforgettable experiences for me. 

Look at you now.  You stand almost as tall as I am.  Just an inch shorter, right?  And you already got pimples on your forehead.  You are now becoming a young man. 

This year as we prepared for your Confirmation, I noticed that you have grown up to be a polite, respectful and kind-hearted person.  And I am proud of you for that.  I hope that you will continue to be a responsible member not only of our family but also of our community.  I think you are already on that track. 

When we volunteered at the soup kitchen, I saw in you not only eagerness to help but also compassion for those needy people who didn’t have enough to eat.  As you grow up and see more people who are in need, I hope that you would always be willing to help.  I also hope that you would be willing to teach other people how to be compassionate and how to help our less fortunate brothers.  I know in my heart that you will be able to do these things. 

As you graduated from sixth grade today, I saw not only excitement but also apprehension in your eyes.  You have learned a lot but still have many questions that you want to be answered.  You’ve made a lot of friends but I know that you are a bit saddened that you won’t see some of them as they will move to different schools.  Don’t worry.  Memories of your friendships will stay with you forever and you will make new friends and new memories in your new school. 

As much as you are excited to be going to junior high, I know that you must be feeling a little scared.  That’s normal.  But CHANGE is a good thing.  That’s how we move on with life.  You will meet new people, new students like you, new teachers.  You may even meet some of Reggie’s old teachers and they may recognize you from your last name.  They might tell you stories about Reggie but don’t feel intimidated when they try to compare him to you. 

Like when we met his music teacher last week when you tried out for instruments.  He asked you if you wanted to be in the jazz band just like Reg did.  You don’t have to if that’s not what you want.  You can do whatever your heart desires.  They also have a good sports program there.  You can join the basketball team if that’s what you’re interested in.  And if you get interested in girls, that’s fine, too. 

I’m glad that you picked the trombone because you felt more comfortable with it than the flute.  And I’m glad that you picked the trombone over the tuba because you understand that you have more options with the trombone like going in the jazz band if you wish to.  And that’s the only reason we asked you if you want to be in the jazz band.  We want you to broaden your horizon.  We want you to try different things.  But don’t be pressured to go in the jazz band just because that’s what Reggie indulged in.  And most of all, don’t be pressured by what other kids are doing.  Don’t be afraid to say NO.  Don’t be intimidated by the kids who are bigger than you. And know that you can always talk to me, just like you always do.  And I’m always willing to listen if there’s anything that’s bothering you.  

Love always,



Entry filed under: Raising the 3Rs, Ryan in the middle, Special Occasions.

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19 Comments Add your own

  • 1. ann  |  June 30, 2006 at 8:31 am

    What a touching letter from a loving mom. I wish I could be as supportive as you are. Two months ago I enrolled my daughter to an acting lesson because I want to see her on a stage play someday. She’s hesitant at first but learned to love it. They have a scheduled play this coming September. I feel guilty pag nakikita ko syang pagod sa rehearsal.

  • 2. domestic rat  |  June 30, 2006 at 2:18 pm

    I love this piece! Your kids are fortunate to have you as a mother.

  • 3. jane  |  June 30, 2006 at 2:37 pm

    Happy Birthday Ryan. Ang galing mo Ate. Nakaktouch ang letter.

  • 4. Dheena  |  June 30, 2006 at 5:07 pm

    nice read !

  • 5. sesame  |  June 30, 2006 at 7:47 pm

    That’s a nice piece. Ryan is very good looking!

  • 6. Dheena  |  July 1, 2006 at 3:08 am

    nice read

  • 7. mmy-lei  |  July 1, 2006 at 3:43 am

    hmmm, so nice and touching.. havent received any letter from my mom!

    You are really a wonderful mom!

  • 8. bingskee  |  July 2, 2006 at 2:11 am

    hi, irene! so mommy-like. your son is a cute boy 🙂 i love it when you wrote “You don’t have to if that’s not what you want. You can do whatever your heart desires. “ this should always be the case to have a good parent-child relation, not so much imposing what a parent wants but guiding them towards what is good for them.

  • 9. Toe  |  July 2, 2006 at 7:37 am

    Oh, Happy Birthday to Ryan! I just love the sound of the trombone… it’s so mellow and romantic. 🙂

    You’re such a wonderful Mom with a wonderful heart… indeed, your name suits you Niceheart!

  • 10. niceheart  |  July 2, 2006 at 4:30 pm

    I understand how you feel, Ann. Last year I also signed up Ryan for basketball. I knew he was passionate about the sports and I wanted him to have an outlet instead of being always reprimanded for playing ball inside the house. He hesitated when he learned that it entailed a lot of practice and that we would be going to different schools that were quite far from our place. He actually didn’t want to sign up but we were already in line and I encouraged him. He wasn’t too happy at first but when they started playing other teams, he got into it. It was quite an experience for him and I realized that he was really good at the sport.

  • 11. niceheart  |  July 2, 2006 at 4:36 pm

    Thank you, DR. I think I am fortunate to have them as my kids. They are all well-behaved and respectful.

    Thank you, Jane. I wrote the letter for his Graduation. And yeah, he did celebrate his birthday just recently. 🙂

    Thank you, Deena. Hope you would share with us your link.

  • 12. niceheart  |  July 2, 2006 at 4:38 pm

    Thank you, sesame. I also think that he’s good-looking. But of course, I am biased. I am his mom. 🙂

    Thank you, mmy-lei. I exchanged several letters with my mother because we were separated for 9 years when she went to work abroad.

  • 13. niceheart  |  July 2, 2006 at 4:45 pm

    Thank you, bing. I think all my kids are cute. Of course, I am a biased mom. 🙂

    For a while, I lived with guardians who were very strict and imposing. This was when my parents were separated and I lived with relatives. I hated being told what to do. “You should take this course and go to that school.” “You can’t date until you’re 18.” Urgh. I couldn’t take it and I rebelled. In fairness to my aunt and uncle, I am grateful to them for taking me and my sister under their wings. But I also witnessed them treating their own children like that. And they were unhappy. I don’t want my children to be treated that way.

  • 14. niceheart  |  July 2, 2006 at 4:53 pm

    Thank you, Toe. Now, I’m wondering if niceheart really suits me. Some people I know may think otherwise. 🙂 Only wound up with niceheart when I was trying to find an anagram for my name.

    You seem to know a lot about instruments. I still have a hard time distinguishing one from the other. When Ryan starts playing the trombone, I know that I will like it too. 🙂

  • 15. Eric  |  July 2, 2006 at 8:00 pm

    Time surely flies! I’m sure Ryan will appreciate this letter even more when he is all grown up with kids of his own. A wonderful gift, indeed.

    BTW, I had a friend who played trombone, and as a second instrument, piano. When he graduated from music school, he was immediately hired in a music production house providing music for TV commercials. He loves it and making quite a hefty income from it.

  • 16. Jayred  |  July 3, 2006 at 1:23 am

    Ryan is very “pogi.”

    Never had a letter like this written by my Mom (I wish I had). Ryan will surely appreciate this, especially when he grows up.

    You’re a good Mom, Irene.

  • 17. niceheart  |  July 3, 2006 at 8:55 pm

    It’s comforting to know, Eric, that one can earn big by playing the trombone. But I don’t know if Ryan will pursue a career in music. He wants to be a professional basketball player and play for the L.A. Lakers. And I’m quite nervous about that. I have nothing against professional basketball players but I want him to finish school and be open to other options.

    Thank you, Jayred. I also hope that he will appreciate this when he grows up. As of now, he’s quite embarrassed when I say these things. He will say, “Mommy, no. Don’t say that.” 🙂

  • 18. Hsin  |  July 6, 2006 at 8:48 am

    A lovely letter! I hope Ryan’s keeping all these wonderful letters you write him. It’s a good way to remember and once you start writing it, you recall things you never knew you remembered about your time with your son. My children are still young, but perhaps it’s never too early to start writing letters to them. Thanks for the inspiration!

  • 19. niceheart  |  July 7, 2006 at 11:11 pm

    Thank you, Hsin. I don’t think it’s ever too early to start something like writing a letter. And that’s what I also like about writing letters or journals, it’s easier to recall things at certain points in our life.


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