Watching romantic scenes with the boys
22 Mar 2009 6 Comments
in Birds and bees, Books, movies, music, TV, My Sweet Ryland, Raising the 3Rs, Ryan in the middle Tags: Relationships, the birds and the bees, the sex talk, Twilight, Ugly Betty
On Thursday nights, I tape Ugly Betty and on Friday nights, I watch it with my family. In this last week’s episode, Matt brought Betty home from their date and they were outside her house saying their goodbyes when suddenly the door opens and Betty’s dad Ignacio pops out. I saw my 14-year old son smiling and I told my 11-year old son, who was sitting next to me, “He did that on purpose.” “Why?” he asked. “Well, Matt was going to kiss Betty goodnight and I guess her dad saw that from the window and he didn’t want that to happen. So he went outside so Matt wouldn’t kiss her.” He looked confused but my 14-year old son was still smiling. “Remember that when the time comes that you have a girlfriend,” I continued. “Maybe you should check first if her dad is around before you decide to kiss her.” 
Now my husband started teasing him, too. And I was like, oh boy, what am I teaching my kids now?
There was a time when I’d make them look away or cover their eyes when there are kissing scenes on TV. But that was when they were little boys and they are not anymore. They’re growing up and they’re getting curious. And isn’t it better that they learn about the birds and the bees here at home rather than from the streets? And since almost all of the shows that we watch will tackle relationship issues or mention sex at least once in an episode, I find it a good idea to give a comment or two. “She’s crying because he hurt her feelings,” I would say. Or “She’s not talking to him because she’s still mad at him.” Or “It takes time for us girls to forget when boys hurt our feelings.” They don’t like it that much when I do that. “Mommy, will you please just not talk,” they’d say. “We’re watching.” 
Let’s go back a couple of weeks ago. We watched an advertisement of the release of the Twilight DVD. They know I’m a Twilight fan and they asked me if I was going to buy it. “Yes, of course,” I said. “I’ll watch it then,” said my 14-year old. “I just want to see what it’s all about.” Two nights ago, I was excited when I announced, “So, I’m buying Twilight tomorrow.” “What time are you going to watch it?” asked my 14-year old. “After supper,” I said. “I want to watch it, too,” said my 11-year old son.
So we made it into a big movie night event. We made popcorn and we brought a big chocolate bar and a stick of Mentos that we all shared down in our basement where the flat screen is. And I watched Twilight again with my boys this time. I promised them that I’d keep my mouth shut and I kept my promise. They laughed at the funny parts and I heard “geez” at some parts. I missed the applause and the giggles from the girls when I watched it in the theatre. As I’ve mentioned in my Twilight movie review, the girls applauded and giggled every time Edward got his close-ups and when he and Bella would stare at each other or kiss. But I love the moments when I exchanged smiles with my 11-year old son last night while we watched those “giggly scenes.”
And their feedback on the movie? “Ah, it’s okay.”
Birds of a feather
21 Apr 2007 25 Comments
in Birds and bees, Spring, Winnipeg
We’ve been having warmer temperatures lately. And by warm, I mean up to plus 19. Yay!
It’s nice to finally go out there in just a shirt and flipflops. And of course also some kind of bottom garments, silly you. And yeah, there are also people wearing shorts now.
One of the first signs of Spring is the arrival of the birds that migrated to the warmer South in the Fall. Yup, these birds have been around for a few weeks now. Oh, I just love hearing the sound of the chirping birds first thing in the morning when I go downstairs to the kitchen while I prepare breakfast. And I also love the honking of the Canada geese as they hover around all over the city.
I was at Kildonan Place on Friday after work when I saw these birds on the parking lot. I immediately took my camera from my purse and slowly approached them. I took three shots, one after the other, as I walked closer, being really quiet because I didn’t want them to fly away, as those black birds in our backyard do when I try to take their pictures. I was glad that these birds just stayed there. The pictures are not that sharp because I started clicking when I was still far. Besides, it was windy that afternoon and I was carrying three bags, two on my left hand and one hanging on my shoulder, holding the camera with only on hand. I thought that the pictures would be blurry, but they turned out all right.
And yeah, Nanay Ayo is also back. She’s our family friend who’s already retired and she goes back to the Philippines every Fall, spends time there while we freeze here in the winter, and comes back here in the Spring. Lucky her, huh?
The birds and the bees
11 Aug 2006 24 Comments
in Birds and bees, Raising the 3Rs
The sex talk
I don’t remember asking my mother about the birds and the bees when I was a little girl. What I remember is how she would show me her long vertical scar on her belly and tell me how she was in labour with me for three long days before my father could produce the hospital money and then she had me by Ceasarian Section. She would tell me how she couldn’t wear a two-piece bathing suit because of her ugly scar. So years later, when I was on the operating table about to deliver my first baby, I asked the doctor to please make it a bikini cut. “Of course,” he said, with a smile on his face. I didn’t know that was how it was already being done at that time. As if that was the worst of my worries.
But kidding aside, it’s not easy to talk to your parents about sex. It’s awkward, for both the parents and the children. I was reading Ann’s post about her 12-year old daughter who approached and asked her about sex. At first she didn’t know what to tell her, but after consulting with her husband, she did tell her daughter what she wanted to know.
None of my children have approached me with that question yet. Well, except that conversation with my youngest son which you will read later on in this post.
I think my 16 year-old son have already learned about this in school. At the beginning of every school year, my children’s schools ask parents to sign this consent form authorizing teachers to teach sensitive materials to students, such as drugs, alcohol and sex. Like Ann, I think it is best for children to learn about these things at home. But if they’re not going to learn these three things at home, I think the school is the second best source, not their friends or some kids from the street. It’s easy for me to talk about drugs and alcohol to my kids but I still feel awkward talking to them about sex. But if that time comes when they ask me, I would definitely sit down and talk to them about it.
I have learned about sex, not from my parents, but from school. I was in grade six when I was first taught about the reproductive system. There were two grade six classes in my school and both classes were divided – boys and girls. Mrs. Jambi, our science teacher, took all the girls from both classes and showed us these huge pictures of the female and male reproductive organs. She drew the pictures on manila paper herself, beautifully and anatomically correct, may I add. Of course there were giggles in the room as probably most of the girls haven’t seen the male reproductive organ (in picture or a real one) before. So we learned how a female menstruates. It was very important as we were at that age when a girl gets her period. And I guess it was also important to the boys when they were taught in the next class, because they were also at that stage when they were experiencing these body changes and they were starting to notice the girls. We also learned how the male transfers his sperm cells to a female, how one of those unites with a female egg and how she gets pregnant.
Where do babies come from?
My children have asked me before where babies come from. I’ve always told them the truth. When I was a small child, I hated it when my mother would tell me, “You’ll know when you’re older.” It just left me wondering all the time. So I make it a point that when my children ask me about anything, I try to answer them the best way I could according to how their young minds could handle it.
On the question, “Where do babies come from?” I’ve always told them:
“A baby grows inside the mommy’s tummy.”
“How do they come out?” would be the next question.
I guess this one has always been easy for me to answer honestly because I had all three of them by C-Section.
“The doctor cut my tummy, but he sewed me back up again,” is my answer. “But some babies come from where the mommy’s pee pee comes out.”
“Eeww! That’s scary,” my youngest son, Ryland, would say.
How do you pee?
When he was a lot younger, Ryland thought that everybody (boys and girls) has a titoy (his term for the boy’s private parts).
“Mommy, do you have a titoy?” he would ask me.
“Ryland, girls don’t have titoys,” I would tell him.
Then one day, we had that same exchange and he added another question.
“So how do you pee?”
“We have something down there but it’s not a titoy. There’s a hole there where pee pee comes out.”
“That’s scary.”
“It’s just like how your titoy has a hole so pee pee can come out.”
“Oh!”
He finally got it!
Puzzle pieces
I think it was a few months ago when he told me, “I think I know how mommies have babies in their tummy.”
“You do? How?”
“My friend told me.”
Uh oh, I thought. Both he and his friend were only eight years old so I wondered what they knew. I thought I was going to have that talk with him this early. I’ve seen a Dr. Phil show that tackled this question. I was ready to tell him that boys and girls are like puzzle pieces that fit perfectly.
“What did he tell you? Tell me and I’ll tell you if he was right.”
“I don’t want to talk about it,” he said.
“Please tell me,” I begged.
But he wouldn’t. So I just dropped it. Maybe later on he’ll ask me. But I don’t know. It’s probably easier for girls than it is for boys to talk to their mothers about this kind of stuff.
How do you become a grandma?
The other day, I was telling my kids how I just learned from an email that my elementary school classmate is already a grandmother.
“How did that happen?” Ryan, my 12-year old asked.
“Her daughter, who’s 18 years old, had a baby. So she’s now a grandma,” I said. “And she’s just my age.”
“How will you become a grandma, Mommy?” he asked.
“Well, when you guys get married and have babies, then I will be a grandma.”
“Eewwh, that’s yucky!” Ryland blurted.
“Mommy, do I have to get married?” he asked.
Ha ha ha. Here we go again. We’ve had this conversation before.
“You don’t have to. But I think you’ll want to get married when you are older.”
“No, I don’t want to get married.”
Well, when that time comes when he tells me that he wants to marry some woman he’s in love with, I will remind him about this conversation.
