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As I read the comments in my previous post, I noticed that most of those who left comments give allowance to their kids. It made me wonder if I’m the only one who doesn’t. And so I asked five parents here in Winnipeg if they give allowance to their kids.
Mom A doesn’t. She said that once, she gave her son allowance but his classmates would borrow money from him and never paid back.
Mom B does. But her kids get allowance more for extra chores that they do around the house. Most of their needs are already being provided for, but it’s a fun way for them to earn their money and to spend it or save it as they choose.
Mom C doesn’t. Her son does not have interest in money yet. His schoolmates would also borrow money from him without paying back.
Mom D doesn’t. When her kids were in elementary, she gave them money on occasion when they wanted to buy something and she let them keep the change. She also gave them money on birthdays and Christmas. When they turned 16, they took on part-time jobs and she stopped giving them money.
The one dad that I asked does. He gives his kids just enough for snacks or if they don’t bring lunch or if they stumble upon something in the store. With a little money in their pocket, they won’t be out of place with their friends if they happen to go to 7-11 Store and buy chocolates or slurpee.
Like Mom C’s son, my children do not have that much interest in money either. As Mom B said, most of my kids’ needs are well provided for, too.
I noticed that some do give allowance in return for chores. I give my children chores but they don’t get paid for it. Although, I have to admit that if they want me to buy them something big for their birthdays or Christmas, I sort of remind them to be more attentive to their chores.
I do try to instill in my kids’ minds the value of money. They know that we don’t have a lot and they can’t have all the things that they desire. I have also set up a savings account for each child. They put in some of their birthday and Christmas money in the bank. When they want to buy something and I don’t have the extra money, they take it out from their account.
I guess in the end, we, as parents, want to teach our children the value of money and how to handle it responsibly. I don’t think that there is any right or wrong way of teaching them. We all do it differently depending on what works best for us and our children.
Thanks, guys, for all the input.
“Allowance? What allowance?” Julius said to his 13-year old son Chris. “I allow you to eat my food. I allow you to watch TV. I allow you to use my electricity and use my water.”
I thought that was funny. It was a scene from an episode of Everybody Hates Chris.
It was 1983 and Chris spotted this leather jacket on a display window. Almost everybody at school was wearing leather jackets and he wanted one, too. But he didn’t have any money and he couldn’t really save up for it because he didn’t get allowance.
I don’t give my kids allowance, either. There is no canteen or cafeteria at school and they bring bagged lunches. School is also walking distance from home so there’s really no need for an allowance. I give them money for book orders, hot lunch orders or any other school supplies and fees. I buy them toys and games occasionally.
When Reggie started Junior High, I gave him $5.00 a week just in case he wanted cold drinks from the vending machine instead of his juice box, or when he and his friends wanted to have lunch at A&W. But he barely touched the $5.00 I gave him that first week. I would tell him that if he needed money, just ask me. He never had any need for it. If he wanted a CD, I gave him money for it.
So my kids never really needed an allowance and they never asked for it.
How about you, do you give your kids allowance?
I was in heaven last weekend when I saw guavas at Superstore. Of course, I bought some. This fruit has a sweet flesh and tiny seeds that can also be eaten. It was only a few years ago when I started to see guavas here in Winnipeg. The ones that are sold here are as big as apples. The ones I grew up eating in the Philippines were smaller and not as sweet.
A few months ago, I was in the same fruit and vegetable section at Superstore when I saw the balimbing (starfruit). I was so excited then because it was the first time I saw balimbing here. I’ve forgotten what they taste like. And they were also quite big. Twice the size of the ones we have in the Philippines. So I bought a few and eagerly showed it to my kids when I got home. I cut it crosswise to show them the star shape. At first they were reluctant to taste it. When I took my first bite, I told them it was very juicy. The taste was somewhere between sweet and sour, but you don’t really need salt. It was good. Reggie liked it but the two younger ones didn’t care much.
Balimbing is a Filipino term used to describe people (especially referred to politicians) who switch sides or loyalties depending on their needs.
Another fruit that is quite big in size compared to the ones in the Philippines is the banana. Let the picture speak for itself.
Banana, cantaloupe, guava, red delicious apple, star fruit, navel orange.
These past few months, Ryland had been asking me when he was gonna have a loose tooth. It seemed that almost everybody in his class had lost at least a tooth. He felt left out.
Finally, a few weeks ago, he had a loose tooth. Boy was he glad! He wiggled it with his tongue. He wiggled it with his finger. He wiggled it all the time. It became looser every day. He couldn’t wait for it to fall out.
Ryan said, “I lost my first tooth when I bit into an apple. It happened at school. I got a loonie (Canadian dollar coin) under my pillow that night. I think Mommy put it there. Because tooth fairies are not real like Santa is not real, right Mommy.”
Yepsiree.
But why don’t I remember the first time I lost a tooth, or any tooth for that matter? The experience must have been a traumatic one for me. I do remember hearing stories of tying an end of a string to a loose tooth and the other end to a doorknob and then pulling the doorknob away from the tooth to yank it out. I also don’t remember going to the dentist a lot. When I was a little girl, going to the dentist meant having either a tooth filling or having an extraction. Very scary for a young child. Kids now are lucky that their parents have dental insurance and they have the luxury of twice-a-year visits to the dentist for routine check-up, cleaning and even fluoride treatment.
So, we were having pizza for supper last Wednesday while watching “Lost” when Ryland’s tooth finally fell out. I thought it was the pizza that did it.
“No, Mommy, I pushed it with my tongue.”
“Okay, give me your tooth and we’ll keep it in a container like I did with your brothers’ teeth.”
Now, let us see that toothless smile.
Cute! And what’s cool is that I can see the new tooth already peeking from where his baby tooth was.
This post was original published at PINOYatbp.
Last Christmas, I heard someone say, “I still can’t forgive him for what he did to her. He is the reason she died of lung cancer. If he didn’t smoke in the house, she would still be here with us.”
I wanted to jump in and tell the unforgiving person about the Forgiveness course I had taken when I was preparing my youngest son for his First Reconciliation just the previous few weeks. But I thought, who am I to preach about forgiveness? I myself had been having a hard time forgiving somebody who repeatedly hurts me (emotionally). Besides, this unforgiving person is more pious than me and I was not in the mood for one of his religious debates.
There is a saying that goes, “To err is human, to forgive divine.” It’s easier said than done. Forgiving can be a very hard thing to do.
I know, and you all probably do, that forgiving is good not just for the soul, but also for the body.
I read in The Herald, our community newspaper, an article written by Dr. Bruce Naherniak, a chiropractor here in Winnipeg.
He wrote…
“Holding a grudge towards others puts your body into a ‘stress response,’ according to research out of Hope College in Michigan. When people remember past slights…
-their blood pressure increases
-their heart rate increases
-their muscle tensions are higher
Other research has found that stress hormones increase when we can’t forgive and forget. The result is a weaker immune system and possibly impaired neurological function and poor memory.”
He cited that studies have shown that unforgiving people:
-are more likely to develop a health problem
-suffer from increased anxiety symptoms
-suffer from increased paranoia
-suffer increased incidence of heart disease
-have less resistance to physical illness
But how do we forgive someone?
Dr. Naherniak interviewed Fr. Andrew Jarmus from Holy Cross Orthodox Mission for his advice on forgiveness.
1.First, be ready to hurt in order to heal. Sometimes we have trouble forgiving because we are avoiding the negative feelings surrounding the incident.
2.Let go of your right to revenge. You can never make the other person feel exactly like you feel. Getting your ‘pound of flesh’ only prolongs the ill feelings and poisons everyone involved.
3.Remind yourself that they are only human and we make mistakes.
4.An important step is to really wish the person well. We may never have the same relationship with that person again, but we must still wish only the best for them.
Just like shampooing your hair, repeat as necessary.
Forgiveness is a journey. Occasionally the hurt and anger will rise again. At these times, we must repeat the first four steps. The negative feelings may come back but not as intense. Eventually, we will look at the incident with peace of mind and heart.”
I am still on this journey. I wish I could forgive and forget just like that. But it’s tough. I know I should. The stress is taking a toll on my body. Earlier last year, I went to the doctor because of a slight tightening in my chest. My doctor checked me and gave me a clean bill of health. I knew then that I was just stressed out.
I did some researching on my own and I’ve discovered that stress can also cause lower back pains (I’ve had quite a few of this), poor memory (check) and crankiness which is often noticed by other persons before you do (check).
On a recent visit to the dentist for my regular check up, he told me that I am wearing my teeth down – sign of teeth grinding, which is another symptom of stress. Hence, I have to wear a night guard.
I should really start to chill out. I have found out a few tips on how to cope with stress.
1.Take a deep breath.
2.Learn to relax.
3.Make time for yourself.
4.Do something you enjoy – listening to music, reading, painting, drawing, gardening.
5.Meditate.
6.Eat healthy.
7.Have sex. (wink)
I’ll try to do these as I go on this long journey.
These are the 2 comments from “Forgiveness and Stress” that was published at pinoyatbp.
Duke said on January 24th, 2006 at 8:38 am
I believe that when you forgive and forget, you do yourself the biggest favor. The thing is, it’s not that easy and it does take a toll on your healthi n the long run.
I like your tips! Number seven is the best release (hihihihi)
Patrice said on January 26th, 2006 at 8:36 pm
This is true what you said. Ika nga di ba, a healthy mind (and heart) is equal to a healthy body. Hypothetical but true in some ways. Even if you are physically fit but under a lot of stress, wala pa rin.
In my case, I try to keep in mind what I consider petty offenses and those that I consider major. Unless it involves my family, I try to let it go. No use trying to ponder on petty stuff di ba? Keeping a good disposition and beiing nice to people would help avoid circumstances like these.
This post was updated on July 7, 2008.
